The sign, which says: "Do not, under any circumstances, open this door!" - Of course, I've read it. Why do you think I want it opened?.. To see why they wanted it shut, of course. This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilization. At least, those bits of it that are now under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.

The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.

He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.

Things just happen. What the hell.

I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them.

In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.