Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word "revenue", which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word "scum.

I know three people who have got better after a brain tumour. I haven't heard of anyone who's got better from Alzheimer's.

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT." Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.

There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.

Dedication: My thanks to the people who showed me that opera was stranger than I could imagine. I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here.

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.