Don't start drinking before the fifth song.
But they're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.
Jamie Oliver's lunch is soup, half a papaya with lime, ciabatta with mozzarella and prosciutto. The dear boy is not sharing the same planet as the rest of us. Is this lunacy supposed to be a practical suggestion for a harassed housewife trying to drag her children off to school?
There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.
Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.
I suppose I should make a little apology to Cyndi - although I'm not taking the blame for this - because I was the one who did say Cyndi had won.