Jamie Oliver's lunch is soup, half a papaya with lime, ciabatta with mozzarella and prosciutto. The dear boy is not sharing the same planet as the rest of us. Is this lunacy supposed to be a practical suggestion for a harassed housewife trying to drag her children off to school?

People who are successful should never forget that its 90 per cent luck. Youve got to be an eejit to be an egomaniac. I had my glory years - Blankety Blank, the talk show, when I was winning every award going.

Jamie Oliver's lunch is soup, half a papaya with lime, ciabatta with mozzarella and prosciutto. The dear boy is not sharing the same planet as the rest of us. Is this lunacy supposed to be a practical suggestion for a harassed housewife trying to drag her children off to school?

I suppose I should make a little apology to Cyndi - although I'm not taking the blame for this - because I was the one who did say Cyndi had won.

Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.

Worried about a skin condition? Leap smartly into a bath of porridge.

But they're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.