I don't make the mistake of thinking it's a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously.
Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ... Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals.
Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.
Worried about a skin condition? Leap smartly into a bath of porridge.
There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.
I suppose I should make a little apology to Cyndi - although I'm not taking the blame for this - because I was the one who did say Cyndi had won.