I don't make the mistake of thinking it's a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously.
Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ... Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals.
Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.
Don't start drinking before the fifth song.
Worried about a skin condition? Leap smartly into a bath of porridge.
There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.