I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke

I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.

Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed.

We don't have to stand on a soap-box and preach because hopefully we're channelling it through the new record.

I'm horrified of leprechauns. I'm horrified that I might be leprechauns.

I wanted to live with the ****ing manta rays, but they banned me from Sea World.

When even your fans are writing to tell you to get a life, you know you need to listen.