If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.
If I could be any animal I would be a pony because then I could have sex with ponies.
Every move you make has already been done, and taken the piss out of.
The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers.
Have I told you I have cancer? It's a very special kind of cancer. Cancer of the soul.
I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.