If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke.

Are you such a dreamer To put the world to rights? I'll stay home forever Where two and two always makes a five I'll lay down the tracks Sandbag and hide January has April's showers And two and two always makes a five It's the devil's way now There is no way out You can SCREAM and you can shout It is too late now Because... You have not been Payin' attention! Payin' attention! Payin' attention! Payin' attention! You have not been paying attention!

I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.

Sonic the hedgehog is a beautiful statement on capitalism. You spend your whole life collecting yellow rings and then hit one spike and lose them all. And there is a fat man who wants to kill you.

Maybe I'm not the gloaming witches smart, but at least I'm not our stupid liffey hamburger mongrels

I've been reading a book lately. That book is Thom Yorke, and the conclusion is that he's brilliant.

OK Computer? More like No Thank You Computers. They killed my father, and I hate them.