If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face

I once tried playing baseball but I started crying.

If I could do just one thing to change the world, I'd make everyone Thom Yorke, and this would be paradise.

My nickname in college was talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll doll because I'm a talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll dol

I'm glad I escaped the clutches of those evil gnomes... I'm talking, of course, about Puerto Ricans.

I guess I am narcisstic, but only in the sense that I am brilliant and tortured as well

If Bono can release an album out of nowhere then so can I!