My nickname in high school was jack-o-lantern because I'm missing 9 teeth

There was a clown that tried to eat me as a boy, in my nightmares. Years later I found a clown for booking online who resembled him named Patches. Needless to say, Patches is dead now.

I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four.

Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.

I don't know why people called me Tom. My name is THUMB.

Someone needs to tell the truth, but it shouldn't be my job.

The only real difference between me and chocolate pudding is that I am not a black man.