At home I've got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour.

I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.

I don't know why people called me Tom. My name is THUMB.

I agree with whoever said Spice Girls are soft port. They're the antichrist.

I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.

Nobody wins the superbowl, I win the superbowl. I am the superbowl.

People are born with certain faces, like my father was born with a face that people want to hit.