They love me like I was a brother They protect me, listen to me They dug me my very own garden Gave me sunshine, made me happy Nice dream, nice dream Nice dream

I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er

When I was four I read the story of horton hears a who and I cried. I wanted to eat that elephant.

To protest, I stood in the place of a waste receptacle and opened my mouth. That's how I lost my virginity *laughs*

I think we're entering a very dangerous time. The West has set itself up, decided it's in charge, not for good intentions, not for the benefit of mankind.

My parents mistook me for a sack of potatoes so I sat in the corner of the kitchen for the first 13 years of my life. My birth name is Thom Potatoes.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'