You can always get someone to love you - even if you have to do it yourself.

A mind is as strong as its weakest think.

Seventy million books in America's libraries, but the one you want to read is always out.

Some girls never know what they are going to do from one husband to another.

Sense of humor: A thread of illuminated intelligence that links two opposite ideas.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn't hold water.

Think of what would happen to us... if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.