I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes.

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

I didn't have an interest in school at all and was getting in trouble all the time.

I talk about airplanes and things like that while my scars are on clear view.

I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes.

When I couldn't get ahold of cigarettes, I'd roll coffee grounds into typing paper and smoke that and then vomit.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it.