When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

It's hard to be sad when you're laughing, so I enjoy making people happy.

When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it's nice to get awards. It's nice to be labeled and things like that, but I'm not sure everybody qualifies.