At some point, you realize that people might be laughing at your jokes because they're afraid not to laugh.

I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that.

The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

Every day I wrote in my journal: "How am I going to win today?" So that when the guys are talking about water-boarding I'm telling them they haven't even got the right towels.

Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.