You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers!

‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.

Boyhood proves that there's still good roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40.

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?

I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.