It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.

Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.

Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed.