I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.

The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.

The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.