The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I have a suspicion that the definition of "crazy" in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.

A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.'

For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster.

And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women - except, of course - those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape 'kit 'n' stuff. But for everybody else, it's a win-win. Unless you're a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years - whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know - actually, I take it back. The whole thing's a disaster.

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.