The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

Seriously, I've just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.

For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster.

Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?

I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It's better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.

You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers!

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.