I’ve always been able to tell a lot about people by whether they ask me about my scar. Most people never ask, but if it comes up naturally somehow and I offer up the story, they are quite interested. Some people are just dumb: 'Did a cat scratch you?' God bless. Those sweet dumdums I never mind. Sometimes it is a fun sociology litmus test, like when my friend Ricky asked me, 'Did they ever catch the black guy that did that to you?' Hmmm. It was not a black guy, Ricky, and I never said it was.

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.

30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.

A combustion engine of ambition and disappointment.