Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it; it's on TV.

...the Rule of Agreement reminds you to “respect what your partner has created” and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.

At some point, you realize that people might be laughing at your jokes because they're afraid not to laugh.

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.