Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions [...].

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!

It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time.

I don't live the single life and never really did.

MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.