In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds.