It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'

A combustion engine of ambition and disappointment.

[Please let my daughter] not have to wear high heels.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he's been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.