What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.

You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.

This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.

I hope for his sake that Tracy's apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian coworkers at 30 Rock, without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket.

Your initiations are worthwhile.