I am extremely square and obedient in nature!

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

There are no mistakes only opportunities.

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

[...] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.

I learned quickly that trying to force Country Folk to love the Big City is like telling your gay cousin, "You just haven't met the right girl yet.