I hire people that are good, and aren't crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy.

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?

I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date.

Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.