I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.

Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds.

Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.