I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film

I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

I think people have this "It can't hurt to ask" mentality, which is true on some level. I get comics like, "Hey, will you look at these videos of me on MySpace?" I was like, "Well, who's gonna benefit from that? What if I don't like you?" No, I'm gonna write to a stranger and say, "Hi. You like me, and I don't like you. And now I feel bad when I didn't need to feel bad, because you put me on the spot." Or like, "Can I open for you?" Well, I've never seen you work, so no. I certainly made awkward mistakes when I was starting out, and they're just trying to have a career.

I will not be misquoted!

I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that