Anyone who bombs is my friend.

There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all

I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.

I will not be misquoted!

I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.