It's all good fun - television and movies and so on - but the good thing in theatre is there's nothing and no one between you and the audience so you can do what you want really.

If you didn't join for the girls, choose another profession.

Fame is a silly business. People who chase it are almost always going to be disappointed.

I have a natural resistance to being humiliated.

Some friends said they weren't surprised to find out Napoleon and I were related, but it came as quite a shock to me.

My temper manifests itself when I can't find something. I could swear that there is a plot against me to put kitchen utensils in the wrong drawers.

I am now known as Nina Conti's father and it's wonderful.