If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.

I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.

The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.