I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then

There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

Comedy is very important. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because if people tune in or go to a nightclub or even watch television, and hear that a lot of other people are laughing at something you thought was not funny, at least it'll force you to reconsider.