To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.

If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my fingers.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.

I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene-or, as they say in New York, sophisticated.

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.