To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.

I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.

Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.

No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has "The Truth". To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'