A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.
I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch
Well it's hotter 'n blazes and all the long faces / there'll be no oasis for a dry local grazier
Well, they'll bark you down like carneys, sell you Christmas cards in June.
I don't go to church on Sunday, don't get on my knees to pray, or memorize the books of the Bible, I got my own special way
It's hard to play with a bagpipe player. It's like an exotic bird. I love the sound, it's like strangling a goose.