Sometimes we are only aware of how happy we are when the moment has passed. But now and again, if we are very lucky, we are aware of happiness when it is actually happening.

I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin.

Learn to trust your instincts. Only something dead goes with the tide. Only something living can go against it.

When you have a kid, money matters.

When he was born, I looked at my little boy and felt an unconditional love I never knew was inside me. As he grew, and I watched him stagger about, squeak his first words, and turn into a beautiful little boy, that feeling did not change.

Grammar schools are public schools without the sodomy.

The British - who rarely start a fight, but always know how to finish it - have nothing to be ashamed of.