I can't think of a bigger waste of police time than chasing somebody who has said something offensive on Twitter.

The thing I care about is my weight - I'm as fanatical about it as a member of Girls Aloud. I weigh myself every morning. I know exactly what I want to be - 82kg - and I try to stick to it.

My parents gave up a lot to bring me up in the little house on the prairie, and I wasn't prepared to make those sacrifices, nor was the generation before me and the generation after.

Grammar schools are public schools without the sodomy.

I have found having my dad as my North Star has worked well for me.

I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin.

I can't think of a bigger waste of police time than chasing somebody who has said something offensive on Twitter.