My parents gave up a lot to bring me up in the little house on the prairie, and I wasn't prepared to make those sacrifices, nor was the generation before me and the generation after.

I can't think of a bigger waste of police time than chasing somebody who has said something offensive on Twitter.

The British - who rarely start a fight, but always know how to finish it - have nothing to be ashamed of.

The thing I care about is my weight - I'm as fanatical about it as a member of Girls Aloud. I weigh myself every morning. I know exactly what I want to be - 82kg - and I try to stick to it.

And so we stayed out in the garden of the old house until we couldn't kick a ball, laughing in the gathering twilight, making the most of the good weather and all the days that were left, our little game watched only by next door's cat, and every star in the heavens.

Grammar schools are public schools without the sodomy.

My teenage years were spent trying to look like Rod Stewart - I ended up looking like Dave Hill from Slade.