My New Year's Eve is always 2 July, the night before my birthday. That's the night I make my resolutions. And this year scares the life out of me, because no matter how successful, how good things appear, there is always a deep core of failure within me, although I am trying to deal with it. My biggest fear, this coming year, is that I will be waking up alone. It makes me wonder how many bodies will be fished out of the Thames, how many decaying corpses will be found in one-room flats. I'm just being realistic.

I thought it would be my one and only exhibition so I decided to call it My Major Retrospective.

For me, being an artist with a high profile is a good thing for art.

When I think about sex it makes me realise how alone I feel.

I want to spend my life with someone and do nice things and go on adventures, read books and have nice food and celebrate things. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the bedroom like some people who just go to bed and never get out again.

I feel physically ill if I don't make work, I don't create. I don't feel very good. I don't feel right, I feel wrong.

I have hardly any friends who aren't gay