Stand-up and comedy is the place where we are supposed to be able to make fun of all of the world's ills.

I like to do stand-up for people who live real life.

Fame doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter. Those things are forever fleeting. I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

It's very important to be in your child's life and know what's going on and be there with them.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

Stand-up is really personal. It's not like somebody else is writing the script and you have to do what they write.