George Carlin is an influence on a generation. He made me want to do comedy.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

Every person has contributed to me as a human, but a lot of the characters I do are ones I created.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.

I love Ice Cube and Charlie Day. They're brilliant men, great actors and very funny people.

Too many people focus on the thing, instead of the heavenly glory of it. I don't want to give away what to expect.