I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.