I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see the ups and downs. I see the mistakes I've made. I see a funny person. I see a serious person. I see a diamond. I see the good times. I see the bad times. And I see knowledge of self. I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts.

I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.

A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.