I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

I give [Barack Obama] a 10 [on a scale of 1 to 10] because he's not God, and he inherited a couple of wars, and a financial mess.I want to see him curse somebody out on TV. You can't finesse a bull. He's gotta throw down. He's in the shark tank.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of The Color Purple. It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

Live every week like it's shark week.

Stand-up is really personal. It's not like somebody else is writing the script and you have to do what they write.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the Fists of Fury. Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.