And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

Young stand-ups, we ought to do comedy in George Carlin's spirit, in Richard Pryor's spirit, in Jackie Gleason's spirit, in Lucille Ball's spirit, because they did it with the spirit.

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Make your judgments and then you don't have to worry about it. You're always going to have those people who are offended about every little thing.