Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

Too many people focus on the thing, instead of the heavenly glory of it. I don't want to give away what to expect.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

Make your judgments and then you don't have to worry about it. You're always going to have those people who are offended about every little thing.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.

Stand-up is really personal. It's not like somebody else is writing the script and you have to do what they write.

The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.