I touch on sex in my stand-up and it's funny, because when I talk about sex from an adult point of view, people cringe. But if I talk about war or killing, people laugh. So it's sick. It's really demented.

Stand-up and comedy is the place where we are supposed to be able to make fun of all of the world's ills.

If you don't laugh, you're going to cry and people are crying. That's why I guess you have lots of people like comedians to keep us laughing.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

I touch on sex in my stand-up and it's funny, because when I talk about sex from an adult point of view, people cringe. But if I talk about war or killing, people laugh. So it's sick. It's really demented.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.