Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don't care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don't mind.

Stand-up is mine. It's a part of me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.