I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love "30 Rock" because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.

The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.