If all else fails, you could wait for the first corner and tie his dreadlocks to the goalpost.

After 'Big Brother,' people came up to me in the street shouting, 'You woz robbed!'

John Wayne never ever disappointed his fans, because he was a cowboy.

Look at me - I was the boo boy for years and years. Did I ever think I would end up in Hollywood or the FA Cup final? No, I didn't.

I was captain of Wales; I've been captain of numerous football clubs.

I'm a Conservative, but I talk for the ordinary working classes. I get on with the boys at the pub, but I can also mix with Prince Andrew. I understand both levels. The toffs haven't lived in council estates; they've just known big mansions. How can they understand how the postman feels? I would never say no to becoming an MP.

If all else fails, you could wait for the first corner and tie his dreadlocks to the goalpost.