I was having a mildly paranoid day, mostly due to the fact that the mad priest lady from over the river had taken to nailing weasels to my front door again.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

Magic is the cheat codes for the world.

What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.

You must remember that the common criminal will always join the armed forces for, if nothing else, regular meals and expert training in the use of guns.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.